I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
