I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
