he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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