we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
