I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize