Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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