im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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