one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize