I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
