She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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