Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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