My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
