White coat. Heels.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
