i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
