At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
