I am in a vortex of obligation.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
