i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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