I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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