she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
