You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
