my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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