it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
