I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
