He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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