thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize