grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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