His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My penis needs a shock collar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize