no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
