I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
