he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
