Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
