One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bring money and cleavage
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
