Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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