toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we have officially lost it.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
