My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
