He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
so much tequila, so little girl.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
