Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Drunk is not a location!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
