Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was like eating out sand paper
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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