Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
sarcasm needs its own font
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
