A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
