I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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