Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
