i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
