Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
