She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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