someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
