we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
