Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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