I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
