Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
