This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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