brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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