he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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