Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize