If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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