Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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