the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
