My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
