this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize