People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So much rum. So many feels.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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